My advice to young women

As I look back on my 59 years I can see more clearly how the choices in my life have deeply affected my happiness as I got older.  Here are some of my thoughts that I would like to relay to young women starting out their lives.

Cultivate self respect, dignity and steed footness first, before seeking a relationship.  Learn to speak in a respectful way.  Learn to dress in a modest, respectful fashion.  Study older women with dignity and grace and learn from them.  Respect for yourself will not allow you to become involved in bad relationships or make choices that are not good for you.  Hold our head high, speak clearly and learn to love yourself.  You are a blessed child of God and need to be treated as such from the man and friends in your life.  Choose your friends carefully.

Have a guiding compass to follow.  Make God your guide.  Study the Word.  Learn the wisdom.  Make your decisions based on this guiding light.

I believe most of the reason for my regretted decisions in life is not following my compass when I needed to.  I became selfish and made decisions out of spite or anger.  Many decisions in life are life changing.  Make sure you make them with a guide.

Most of life is not about what is happening but about how you react to what is happening.  Life can be painful, scary, down right nasty.  How you react to these things can either leave you content or miserable.  It’s really our choice.

It’s the simple daily routines that make up life.  Learning to be content with those simple things is the key to happiness.  When you get older you will not remember the details of the vacation you took but you will remember the things from your children and the daily traditions that you instill in your home.

Even though I have traveled extensively and had a very interesting life my favorite memories are from my childhood.  Decorating for Christmas with my mom and snuggling in bed with my brand new flannel nightie on Christmas eve, picking blackberries and then going home to make a wonderful pie.  Watching my mom sitting in her favorite chair and quilting.  My trip to Nantucket Island is a blur, but these memories of simple joys are clear in my mind and comfort me.  Cultivate the simple joys.

Consider carefully your choice to have children or not have children.  I chose not to because I wanted to have the opportunity to travel and have a career.  When I was young there was a trend to become a professional and dedicate your life to your job.  Over the years the career and the travel has never given me the happiness and satisfaction that I feel I would have derived from being a mother.  I chose the career because I did not feel I could do both.  And I still feel that.  I feel a child needs his mother at home, like I did when I was young.  Now that I’m older my heart breaks for myself.  Every time I see a friend with their grandchild my heart aches.  I feel that I deprived myself of a great joy.  As you ge you will understand the importance of family and children.  You will appreciate that when you become ill your children will be there.  You will also appreciate the opportunity to teach your children and grandchildren traditions and things that you love so they can carry on those traditions.  It’s a little piece you carried on forever.  And I think it’s important.  It would give my great joy at this point in my life. 

Make your home, no matter where or what it is, your sanctuary.  I always spent a lot of money furnishing my fancy apartments to impress my friends.  But they were never really home.  I learned as I got older that home is where the ones you love are.  You can make any ugly place cozy with very little money.  Hang cheap curtains from the thrift store, put pillows in a corner to curl up and read books.  Use bright cheerful colors and dollar store items.  It’s important that children come home to a cozy comfortable place where they can feel protected from the world.

This is something that my mom made sure of, despite living in poverty.  We had a cozy dinner on plastic ware.  We grew flowers in the backyard and brought them indoors.  And we didn’t fuss when friends came.  They were there to visit, and criticize our furniture.  We used what we had, appreciated it and took care of it.  Our lives did not revolve around these items, but around the cozy moments we enjoyed together. 

Do not let anyone talk you out of becoming a full time homemaker.  It is the most rewarding career you could choose.  From the home the world is changed.  Home nurtures, teaches,. And prepares children for lifes hardships.  There is no more important  institution.  Running a home is the most important profession in the world.

Your life mate can show up at any time.  For me it was later in life but when we met I knew instantly we were kindred spirits.  A person’s actions toward you are what prove his live, not his promises or what he says to you.  My sweetheart was an angel to me during illness and hard times.  This is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Make you health and the health of your family a huge priority.  It’s important to eat wholesome healthy food as close to it’s original form as possible.  Healthy food should not be purchased in a box.  Later in life health is invaluable.  You have to take good care of yourself all along to have health in senior years.  Healthy children will have a lifetime of good years.  Teach them now to cook and eat properly.  They will be grateful in the end.

Cultivate a craft and use it for relaxation and recreation:  Quilting, sewing, embroidery, knitting, crochet.  My mom taught me all those skills when I was young.  I especially enjoy hand stitching and embroidery.  These things have been a comfort to my whole life.

Slow down, relax, enjoy.  I spent years at doctor’s offices with one ailment or another.  Most of my problems came from the fast pace of my life.  It didn’t suit me but yet I persisted with it.  Many years were lost to illness and anxiety.  When I finally settled into a slower pace my health problems went away and my life improved.  I have regretted all that time I spent running in circles.  Rest, relax, enjoy, take life easy.  It only happens one.  Life goes by very fast.

Study herbal healing and natural healthy care.  Take charge of your own health and do not rely on modern medicine.  Teach these skills to your children.  I have cured many a serious illness with natural remedies.  Do not underestimate the plants that God has given us for healing.  We have been given everything we need to be healthy.

Honor you family history.  Teach it to our children.  We all have a lot to learn from the past.

Cherish your femininity.  Being a woman is a beautiful thing.  As I got older I noticed that society had turned women my age into someone who didn’t wear dresses or have long beautiful hair.  The public perception is that as we age we lose our femininity.  When in reality the opposite is true.  I think I grew into it over the years and began to love fixing my hair, wearing long flowery skirts, wearing pink.  Aging should not deprive us of these things.  Being a glorious, feminine woman is such a lovely gift.  Cultivate this beauty in your children and yourself.  Enjoy every minute of it.

Finally-

Take nature into your heart and life.  Go outside every day.  Look at the stars, watch the birds, pause to watch the sunset.  Birds are angels and trees are His guardians.  The sounds and comforts of nature need to be a life priority.  Make it an important part of your children’s lives.  We are a part of the forest and God is in the leaves under your feet and the wind in  the trees.  We were meant to be a part of it and our souls can be deeply refreshed by closing our eyes and listening.